Iron Man – if only!

In a perfect world, Iron Man would not only be a high-flying, weapons-wielding superhero, he would also be the guy who gets up early to iron my blouse.  Yeah, yeah, I know we need to save the planet from evil-doers, but we also have to rescue the world from wrinkled shirts.

As I stood in my assigned spot at Hollywood’s Iron Man premiere between a French crew and a reporter from a trade paper who asked celebs what they would do if they owned an iron suit, I thought about the dearth of superheros for single women.  There should be “Handyman”, who’d fly around in denim tights and a shower-curtain cape to replace the old and moldy one. ”Handy” would always carry extra lightbulbs and a quart of Drano in his toolbelt.  I also propose adding “Super(Market)man” to the rescuer roster. He would do all the grocery shopping, carry the bags into the kitchen, and neatly shelve the purchases. Then, he’d gather my garbage and recyclables and rocket into the night in his turbo-charged grocery cart.  Oh! I know! There should be a superhero named “Laundro-Matt” who swoops in to do the laundry (including the comforter), AND put the clean sheets back on the bed. 

I didn’t mention my ideas to perennially-hip Iron Man star, Robert Downey Jr. Instead, I asked him about the challenges of doing his own stunts.  He gave credit to the crew and on-set  experts who supported his efforts, though Downey’s trainer told me that his workouts were extremely demanding and began long before he auditioned for the role.  Gwenyth Paltrow, for whom the word “lithe” was invented, gave us a soundbite, as did Jon Voight and Ben Stiller who came over after I called to him using my New Jersey outdoor voice, “Ben, Ben, just one question!”  Also, two of the nicest guys ever, Beau and Jeff Bridges, walked the press line with their families.  Overall, the stars were mediagreeable.  Vince Vaughn did a few brief interviews with the major shows and gave the rest of us the peace sign as he walked by.

When the carpet closed, I walked east on Hollywood Blvd. stepping over the stars’ names immortalized in stone and bronze and thought about inventing a superhero persona for myself.  Instead of  “Wonder – when the guy/agent/writing contest decider will call - Woman”,  I’ll be “Go-Getter Girl”: Aspiring screenwriter by day, celebrity interrogator by night, and shoe-sale finder on the weekends. 

 Tonight, I cover the premiere of “What Happens in Vegas”.  I’ll let you know what happens on the carpet…